The Business of Staying Married
“I love my husband!” I shouted in a room full of women sitting at table rounds waiting for the speaker. After, I got their attention, There was this extremely awkward silence followed by uncomfortable giggles, and glances around like, “Is she talking to us?” I encouraged them, “Yes! You too! Let’s try it,” I said. “Just shout it out loud!” As the women shouted “I love my husband!” three times there was a stillness, a quieting of the soul, a deeper awareness of something that we now knew. It's not just about us. It never is. It's about our husbands too.
Walking away from the mics and amps on church stages and heading into the online entrepreneurial world of mindset practices, hypnosis, and self-love I have begun to notice a trend. I have witnessed a variety of women, having gone through divorces and finding their power to build their business, testify that after divorce their success sky-rocketed. I've also met women who have not yet divorced but who are seriously considering divorce as an option in order to gain the most coveted success and freedom that is seemingly paraded today online. Most of the ladies would even say that their spouse or former spouse was “a great guy” and “nothing was really wrong.” Divorce is simply a way to get ahead. And, for some women, it seems like the only option to do so.
I’m here to tell you that you can have your power without sacrificing any of the good things in your life, including your marriage.
As a married woman who has fought tooth and nail to stay married, I know this business well. The business of staying married is about you and your shadow. Your faith and your fear. Your love and your hate. It is what you choose to do with what you have been given AND coming into a love relationship with your creator. It's learning to love what you create. I’m writing this article for those of you married women in business who have seen and witnessed this trend too, who have struggled, but ultimately know divorce isn’t your destiny or future. But, you need some tools. You are feeling the tug of the online “your man may be the one thing left to go,” and you want support to become “the other story.”
You want all-weather success!
You hear it all the time, “Let go of things that aren’t serving you: No matter what it is, let it go. It could be a relationship, a career, a belief.” Let’s stop right there. A belief? Yes. Everyone struggles with limiting beliefs and blocks. More often the thing they struggle with is never outside oneself and we know it. It is not the relationship or career. It is a limiting belief. It is the feeling of unworthiness, isolation, not feeling sufficient all of these creeping in and disguising itself as the need for freedom and wreckless abandon.
Let’s visit the relationship factor. A relationship? No. My children don’t serve me in all of my human needs. Am I willing to drop them? Nope. If you're not willing to let go of your children (or best friend, or mom) because they aren’t serving you, then adjust it so you don’t do that for anyone else. Minor mindset adjustment: For integrity to remain in tact on this principle think, "I am here to serve, not be served. In serving others, I am fulfilled. And if I’m in a quibble about not being served, then I’ve got my belief on where and who the power really belongs to."
If something here is resonating, check in with a limiting belief. You could be held up somewhere in believing that all things are possible. You could be unaware that you may be believing that you are not worthy of love AND success. That you may have to sacrifice one for the other. Note: The Universe doesn’t require you to sacrifice things you love.
As I let on in the beginning, I have come from a very traditional church background. I admit, there has been a bit of a religious paradigm that has held my own marriage together at times. But the business of staying married is so much deeper than religious rules and government contracts. I have fought fires down to the third and fourth degree in my marriage and staying happily married isn’t just possible; it is absolutely the most empowering thing a woman can do for herself, her man, and her family.
To find your freedom within the superficial contract-sucking role of “ball and chain” and step into full feminine power is liberation at its finest.
Think of it. You have this legal limitation that you set up for yourself, now you think getting out is better? The grass is always greener where the grass is watered. You can have a wonderful, powerful marriage, strong and success career, AND be that loving intimate, gentle, vulnerable, friend, spouse, mama, and boss babe that you want to be. It takes some minor tweaking of the mindset, activation of your imagination, and determination to up-level and break through your own paradigms around marriage.
Don't give up. Stay in it for the long-haul. It's so worth it.
About the Author
Leanne is a Certified Life and Success Coach in NLP & Time Line Therapy. She is also a mother of two, author, speaker and business intuitive. She's currently living in Los Angeles, CA with her film-producing husband.