Maybe We Should Stop

As adults, we’re all tired. But I have personally hit a new level of fatigue with parenthood that is indescribable.

I’m tired. I’m always tired now and I’ve been tired before in my life but this time it’s a lot different. As the comedian Ali Wong says, this shit is relentless.

I spend a lot of time now when getting ready to go, really anywhere, proving that I’m not tired. If I buy any more beauty products I’m going to need to get a license as a general contractor because of all the special fillers and spackles and reconstruction that appears to happen to my face.

There are eye creams for day eye serums for night.

There are concealers for under the eye and concealers for the eyelid.

There are fillers and there are brighteners.

And all these products not only take up a lot of time and money but they are concealing our true needs and I’ve been thinking: maybe it’s time we just stop.

Have you ever looked at your partner and thought “How are they not understanding that I need a break?” Well, maybe it’s because I have spent 20 minutes concealing that I am not tired even though I’m the most tired I’ve ever been in my entire life.

If you’ve ever taken a Sephora or Ulta employee hostage during a shopping trip you know exactly what I mean. You find a smiling, willing young person and make them lead you to every eye product in that monumental store of beauty delights. And then you get home and you try them all and you look pretty good but you’re still tired.

So, here’s my suggestion: we all pick a day and just stop. Go au natural. Let them see it for themselves in all its wrinkled, dark-circled, and puffy glory.

Stick with me here. It’s going to be uncomfortable and I apologize in advance to anyone who overplucked their eyebrows in the 90s. (Aside – I hear microblading is incredible.) But it’s going to take all of us together to look shitty all at the same time for everyone to take us seriously. Don’t let your friend be the hold out and ruin it. Make sure all of your friends are on board. Have you ever taken a picture and only one person isn’t making a goofy face? Everyone else looks pretty stupid. Don’t be that friend.

I’m not saying this is a permanent thing. I don’t want to look like a garbage heap any more than I have to. But I’m just suggesting that maybe, for a little bit, we could show everyone what it’s really like and gain a little bit more empathy and hopefully HELP when we say “you know I’m pretty tired and I could use a break.” It’s hard to take anyone seriously who looks like a walking Instagram filter.

And it extends beyond makeup. Do you catch yourself picking up the day’s disaster about 20 minutes before you expect your partner to come home? Stop. Shoveling laundry and toys sorta-kinda back into bins and drawers? Stop.

Are you saying “I’m fine” when asked if you need help? Stop. Take those offers up, even if you feel like they aren’t sincere. Who cares? I hate folding laundry and if it’s done slightly bitterly then at least I’m not doing it.

So, let’s pick a day. Forget all the brighteners and concealers and powders and illuminators. Leave the mess. Use the time to have another cup of coffee. You probably need it.  And maybe, just maybe, we can get a break.

About the Author

Former ballerina-bodybuilder-pilot-corporate communications flack who lives in the body of a stay-at-home-mom/Army wife. She comes from a long line of ball busters and bullshitters and is doing her best to pass along all her knowledge to her son. Lifelong hostage of Buffalo professional sports. A living embodiment of trying to pull up your pants and underwear at the same time but only your pants come up.

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